Notable Cast: Huub Staple, Egbert Jan Weeber, Madelief Blanken
Review: So every other culture has an evil Santa back story it appears? And they’re all on Netflix Watch Instantly? Well ho, ho, ho…maybe Christmas came early for this slasher fan? Saint Nick takes a page out of Santa’s Slay glory, bringing us a murderous Santa hell-bent of bloody revenge versus a comically evil or softly mischievous evil Santa. Why? Because he’s Dutch, undead, and pissed off. Living as a merciless bishop who tortured townspeople with a crew of vagrants, Saint Nick died when his schooner was set on fire by townsfolk fed up with living in fear. Now, every December 5th that provides a full moon sees the arrival of Saint Nick’s charred zombie corpse, who kidnaps children and executes the innocent to punish all for his death. In the town of Amsterdam, Saint Nick is unleashed on unsuspecting citizens just trying to enjoy their holiday festivities, instead finding danger lurking around every corner. As the body count rises, police refuse to believe a fairy tale dressed in red could be responsible, but start to run out of options. Frank (Jan Weeber) is forced to fight Saint Nick when the police scoff at his eye-witness account, and we follow his journey to stop the evil Santa reincarnation. Now, I must warn you: Saint Nick utilizes quite possibly the silliest voice dubbing ever recorded. Each actor sounds like an overzealous cartoon character, with zero matching of speech to expression. A HUGE pet peeve of mine is choosing dubbing over subtitles, but if you can deal, hopefully you won’t be as bothered. Dubbing aside, kills are plentiful here as jolly old Saint Nick doles out beheadings like fruitcakes on Christmas: nobody wants em’ but you can’t escape em’. Kudos to creepy special effects work as well, creating a bone chilling Santa horrifying enough to keep us awake on Christmas Eve just in case. Wielding the distinctive S-shaped scythe/scepter hybrid bumped the entertainment factor as well, elevating Saint Nick on an evil villain pedestal and lending to a few knock out kills (one I like to call “Around the World”). A few jump scares had me cautiously sizing up my basement for any hiding henchmen, but that’s where the praise dies off. Story wise it all felt a tad cliché and there were too many forced plot maneuvers, especially in the form of ignorant characters. The whole “Santa isn’t real you crazy kid!” act got old real fast, distracting from some of the actual real fun. B-Movie lovers will still enjoy Dick Maas’ holiday treat to horror fans and there are redeeming factors to pull, but Saint Nick falls short of being as marketable as a film like Rare Exports. Watch for the gore and stay for evil Santa, but don’t expect any more hidden presents under this blood splattered tree.
Netflix Rating: Would sit at a 3.5 if possible, but to stay with the ratings scheme: 3/5