Notable Cast: Nicholas D’Agosto, Emma Bell, David Koechner, Tony Todd
Review: The Final Destination franchise is one of the most genius film ideas ever established. The creators took a plot line that can be continuously looped over and over again, and combined it with the one thing horror nuts go to the theater to see: death. It’s simple, grab a new set of hot, young actors looking for a big break, think of a few creative deaths, and bingo. You have a movie. Honestly, this franchise could outlive me if directors wanted to keep it going. But the question is, how well are the newer films comparing now that the idea hasn’t evolved at all? No thought needs to go into the plot, just the offings. And now, with the increase in Hollywood’s 3D usage, there is even more creative potential to work into each death. The question is, is Fivenal Destination: This Time It’s On A Bridge truly THE FINAL DESTINATION?! The culmination of events that end the film sure points that way, but so did The Final Destination, and Final Destination 3, and….you get my drift. As long as people want to see more gratuitous deaths in blood drenching 3D, I can’t see anything stopping more directors from cashing in on the premise. The franchise will be the Now That’s What I Call Music of the film world: one day you’ll see a commercial for I Swear To God This Is The Final Destination, and the last 27 will just have been a blur.
Well, death picked a new group of saps to f#ck with. This time, poor heartbroken Sam (D’Agosto) is granted a premonition that shows him and his co-workers trapped in a horrific bridge collapse. As the plot always goes: lead character freaks out, main characters leave with the lead, extras are left to die in the tragedy, characters ecstatic to be alive, one dies in a freak accident, then another, characters ask questions, coroner William Bludworth (Todd) shows up to explain the situation, and the remaining survivors try to cheat death. I could pretty much write this synopsis in my sleep at this point. The question remains, can this be the group that finally cheats the system, and beats the Grim Reaper? Well, has any past character done so yet? The movie is called Final Destination, chances are…they’re boned.
Ya know, I have a good feeling about this one. I think he’ll be fine…
I have to be honest, I’ve always had a special place for the Final Destination franchise. You know exactly what you’re getting, and the movies always get right to the point. We’re promised a gruesome disaster scene on an epic scale to start, some boring filler scenes to establish the facade that the story might actually deviate from its normal path, and then the titular character death scenes which strike one by one. There’s no tuning in for things like acting and plot. The characters are all going to die anyway, why bother getting attached? Nope, this is one of those few films that fills a certain type of craving for the audience, and the seats will be filled no matter what the intangibles the are. It would be nice to explain the premonitions though at some point. Like, is there some dick angel that just loves making more work for Death, so he sends these visions at random? We’ll never know though, because it would change the dynamic of the whole plot, taking away from the reusable nature. Sometimes, it’s just better not to ask questions.
So let’s get to the meat of the film: how do the Mouse Trap like death scenes play out and how do they compare to the bar already set by this franchise? Final Destination 5 brings more trickery and deception than the early films. We’ve come a long way from simply getting hit by a bus. In the new film, there would be a 5 minute domino effect in order to get the character in front of said bus. The build up was there along with the brutality, while the creativity tries to throw you curveballs with every logistical change. There’s plenty of blood splattering and bone crunching going on, delivering for the hardcore fans. If were rating the franchise in order based on this area, 1 and 2 were more in the simplicity stage, 3 was the weakest, 4 was only marginally better, but 5 recovers most of what had been lost. The evolution from Final Destination 3 through 5 was a long one, but the 5th is where it should be now.
Although I did forgo the 3D based on other film experiences that did not impress, there appeared to be plenty of moments built for it. Be it long pointy things delivering shiskabobed human insides right under your nose or explosions coming off the screen at you, I did get a tad curious as to whether it was worth it to splurge. If you did check the 3D out, let me know how it went, because I’ve been turned off to the experience due to films like Clash of the Titans, or pretty much any 3D film released as of late. You’ll lose nothing by checking out Final Destination 5 in plain jane 2D, as you’ll still get every spec of gore in clear visible view.
In short, death is a bitch. The films teach us that when your time is up, there is no escape. There are no rules with death, and he’s not one to be messed with. He is the ultimate movie villain, never stopping until the job is done. But look at it from his point of view. Imagine you were trying to do your job, and every day some kids came in and ruined a multi million dollar project all on a hunch? I’d say I’d be pretty ticked too. The good news here is that if you aren’t into death scene after death scene, you can easily pass over Final Destination 5. At this point, going into the fifth installment for a tension filled story or dynamic cast would be like, well, I don’t really have a comparison, because you should know better. The best cast we get here is one of the kids from Fired Up! and the chick from Frozen, also featuring David Koechner to provide comic relief (but failing horribly). Good thing I didn’t give two shits about any of that, and just tuned in to see how far Final Destination would go to torture these kids. The deaths push hard, and the film brings the franchise full circle, in a way that would fittingly end the whole endeavor. Death can finally take a break, until the studio needs to cash in again that is.
Final Rating: 7 limbs flying directly at you out of 10
You just HAD to get that laser eye surgery the weekend Death is stalking you…talk about bad timing…