Ok, there are a ton of terrible movies. Let’s be honest, plenty of films have rubbed me the wrong way. But, for the purpose of this list, one film (or series I should say) truly takes the cake…
Meet The Spartans
Substitute with Date Movie, Epic Movie, Stan Hellsing, Superhero Movie; this horrible franchise just won’t die. All of them have the same theme: take a genre and “spoof” it. Yet, the creators have no f&cking idea what a spoof is. Airplane! is one of the greatest spoof films of all time, targeting disaster movies. Kung Pow: Enter The Fist was a perfect mockery of the kung fu genre. Black Dynamite nailed the balxploitation genre with ease. And do you know why? Because they didn’t bring in Mad TV rejects to just do horrible impressions of “pop culture” stories in the news. What the hell does Britney Spears, Paris Hilton, and the judges of American Idol have to do with making fun of 300? The writing of every single one of these movies is piss poor and the jokes are beyond juvenile. I get stupid humor, Grandma’s Boy for example, but the term “stupid” is even too much of a compliment in referring to the quality of the “jokes.” If the writers took any longer than one night on these scripts, they should be ashamed with themselves. It’s a stretch to say I laughed at any of these films. They all get so off topic, most of the movie doesn’t even address the genre at hand. Overused jokes like “Michael Jackson is a pedophile” and “Oh Hey Here’s Leslie Nielsen Randomly” are thrown in just to kill time. Unwatchable pieces of sh*t. All of them. But you know what? This is the kind of garbage that tops the box office weeks in a row, so the writers will never stop. It’s not their fault they can gross millions. Hell, if I could write a bunch of dick and fart jokes and turn a multi-million dollar profit, I’d take advantage of the public too. Please, for the love of movies, I beg you, STOP SEEING THIS GARBAGE.
What film enrages you the most?